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Here are some Rugby Jokes for your Enjoyment.
If you have any more please email them to me.
You asked for it: Beer sayings!
Seeing how beer is an important
part of one's rugby career, I thought you might be interested in reading some beer quotes from some famous and not so famous
people.
Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
--Catherine Zandonella
E equals mc squared
is a hell of a concept, but can you use it to make beer?
- A. Einstein
Reality is an illusion that occurs due
to the lack of alcohol.
I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
A woman drove me to drink
and I didn't even have the decency to thank her. What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?
--W.C. Fields
Beauty
lies in the hands of the beerholder.
Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink.
--Lady Astor to Winston
Churchill
Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it.
--His reply
If God had intended us to drink beer, He
would have given us stomaches.
--David Daye
Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
--Oscar Wilde
When
I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
--Henny Youngman
Life is a waste of time, time is a waste
of life, so get wasted all of the time and have the time of your life.
I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than
a frontal lobotomy.
--Tom Waits
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
Beer is good food.
you
don't like jail?
naw, they got the wrong kind of bars in there.
--Charles Bukowski
If you ever reach total enlightenment
while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.
--Deep Thought, Jack Handy
It's better to have beer
in hand than gas in tank.
Life is too short to drink cheap beer.
Beer - it's not just for breakfast anymore
Beer:
Nature's laxative.
Beer. If you can't taste it, why bother!
One more drink and I'd be under the host.
--Dorothy
Parker
All other nations are drinking Ray Charles beer and we are drinking
Barry Manilow.
--Dave Barry
When
I heated my home with oil, I used an average of 800 gallons a year.
I have found that I can keep comfortably warm for an
entire winter with
slightly over half that quantity of beer.
--Postpetroleum Guzzler, Dave Barry
Without question,
the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the
wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
--Dave Barry's Bad Habits, Dave Barry
Not all chemicals are bad. Without
chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.
--Dave
Barry
My problem with most athletic challenges is training. I'm lazy and find
that workouts cut into my drinking
time.
--A Wolverine is Eating My Leg
The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
--Humphrey
Bogart
Friends don't let friends drink Light Beer.
If nothing beats a Bud, given the choice, I'd take the nothing...
Draft
beer, not people!
Adhere to Schweinheitsgebot. Don't put anything in your beer that a pig
wouldn't eat.
--David
Geary
Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine.
--David Moulton
A drink a day keeps
the shrink away.
--Edward Abbey
People who drink light "beer" don't like the taste of beer; they just
like to
pee a lot.
--Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI
Put it back in the horse!
--H. Allen Smith, an American humorist
in the '30s-'50s, after he drank his first American beer at a bar
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